Getting Your Emotional Needs Met
Many times, we receive letters asking, “How do I get my husband to meet my emotional needs?” Our response is, “Are you aware of what to ask for when addressing your own emotional needs in your relationship?” The secret is to talk about your own feelings.
IFW’s Top 5 Non-Confrontational Methods
That Will Help You Get Your Emotional Needs Met
1. Communicate to your partner about what you want, not what you don’t want. Be straightforward, Be clear and Be compassionate. If you let your partner know exactly what you want it will make his or her job much easier.
2. Be vulnerable with your mate. As a general rule, the people in your life aren’t out to intentionally upset you even if they’re a little self-absorbed or insensitive. Most times if someone cares for you, they will happily meet your needs as long as they know how to do so. When you feel hurt by someone and your self-protective guard is to put walls up or go on the attack, you close the door on effective communication. It’s hard to be vulnerable, especially if you’ve been hurt before, but if your relationship matter to you, then being agreeable to open up is the best way to ensure it is satisfying and mutually supportive.
3. Discuss the real issues that are affecting your relationship. These need to be delivered without opinions. Talk about the specific behaviors you see that you don’t feel good about. (Example: When I let you know about my feelings, you completely discount them as being stupid.)
4. Do you want change, understanding or compatibility? Whatever your need, asking for it directly will significantly improve your chances of getting it. If your partner doesn't know what you need or if you expect him or her to read your mind, no changes can happen.
5. Sow what you want to see in your marriage. Sow “love” seeds into your marriage. Tenderness, empathy, compassion, joy, prayer and blessings – anything like this will reap incredible rewards through your years of marriage.
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